When times are at it’s best, we always pull through and enjoy one’s company. I can’t stand the fact of us every breaking apart, but recently i’ve had it with your inconsiderate behaviors. I’m not going to be biased but it’s true what we say. You don’t think about anyone else but you and your damn job. It’s not like your making efficient money to support us, it’s just a little to get us by. I’m not getting on your case, but if you only could take the time to appreciate everyone and show everyone you LOVE THEM then we wouldn’t be having this problem. 

I remember a dark shadowy time where you once told me that it will all get better. That you loved me and only good things could go from there. It was a lie, consecutively things got worse and now it’s becoming constant. If you asked me if I had a father, it’s probably because my friends have never seen you, not because i don’t tell you to come around, not because i’m ashamed and don’t want you there, it’s just… YOU NEVER WANTED TO COME TO ANYTHING! I’m not trying to be a damn jerk but i’ve never seen ONCE have you ever liked the things i’ve done, you always said “congratulations” but it was always under your breath. Yeah i’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, you came to some things, maybe 2 or 3, but i’m pretty sure it’s because mom forced you.

I’m sick and tired of both of you thinking my life is easy. I’m just like you both but at a younger age. I have struggles, I endure pain, I endure lack of sleep, I endure long hours of work and irritation. You think my life is any bit easier than yours? Then take a walk in my shoes and find out what I mean. Yeah I don’t work a full time job and also pay bills to support a family, but doesn’t mean I don’t work hard at what I do. You only see me when i’m home, usually the time I take to sleep and to study, maybe catch up on t.v. but thats it. At school and at work, I study, I have meetings, I have deadlines, rehearsals, work, paperwork, deal with stupid customers, stupid group members, traffic (don’t even get me started), issues with myself, lack of sleep, lack of food, always sick, stress, and the list goes on. Now take a look at your list and mine, quite similar ain’t it?

I just wish that everyone would understand everyone’s point of view. I’m sorry mom that we couldn’t take you out on Mothers day. It’s not my fault that my stupid concert fell on mothers day and that dad didn’t want to do anything. Little does she know I want to get her a Tiffany’s necklace or promise ring. What a way to spend mothers day, now i have to deal with an angry father and make it up to my mom. 

STORY OF MY FUCKING LIFE!

Okay so I just watched the movie Dear John. It was okay, most of the scenarios were predictable, but only because I watch way too many love movies to foreshadow what’s going to happen next.

Ever had that feeling, right after you watch a movie you noticed you related every positive and negative thing to your own life. Thinking that guy who left for college was someone you shared intimacy with? Well, the story goes like this…

Every line they said to each other, down to the “I’ll see you soon John!” and making promises that you uphold to keep no matter how immature it is to still believe in it after the fact was on the dot. Yeah it’s clear to generalize, assume, hell SHOUT that I am not over my ex and that I am very much still in love with him. There was this one part that really made me tear up. Not to spoil the movie, but she ends up finding someone else and reason being is due to realistic things and someone actually physically there. THIS MY FRIENDS, is exactly what I went through, having a long distance for about half of my last relationship was hell, I don’t think I could ever explain, nor fathom how to express my emotions through words. It’s something you could say, “MUST BE IN MY SHOES TO KNOW” kind or ordeal.

IDK. All I know is that, I don’t want to end it the way the movie ended it. Always wondering what could have been, knowing they loved each other, but never letting themselves have it. I want to know if you still care! I want to know the future! But with knowledge comes consequences, and we can’t have that now…

I’ll leave it at this…

“Dear JOHN…. I’ll see you soon!”

Okay so EPIC FAIL on my behalf for not updating this blog on a daily bases. Currently school has started and I have been keeping up and being ahead of everything. This is the make it or break it semester for real.

So today I was washing my face and I found a sis next to my jaw deep to my masseter. l don’t know whether to worry about it or to just wait till the doctor can tell me anything about it. It could have been a reaction to me keeping in my wisdoms for so long, but I guess we’ll have to wait.

On a side note, i’ve been constantly keeping my New Years resolutions going. Finding time to go to the gym is difficult since i’m all over the place again this semester. As far as working, it’s overrated. I’m trying to get a job in a pharmacy so I can slowly make my way into the medical business. My plans for summer is to finish some of my gen ed and take my CNA classes so I can work in a hospital.

SOCIAL LIFE? So far so good, been able to reconnect with a lot of my friends that I haven’t seen in a semester to a year. Although the weather has been bipolar, everything has been a new exciting thing each day. Meeting a new person everyday =] this was one of my ideas for a New Years resolution.

=======SIDE TANGENT!========

I found your tumblr on accident, it was on the main page as a new member’s page to see. Yeah i read somethings and it’s weird, yeah I shouldn’t generalize things but all I have to say is God Bless.

Okay yeah it’s been kind along since I updated my 365 project. It’s not that i’ve been forgetting to post a blog, it’s because I was busy with things.

CURRENT MOOD: Scared >____<

Tomorrow i’m going in to school to meet with an advisor. I got kicked out of two of my classes because I didn’t pass the pre req to get into that level. BLAH! So yet another time I fail at school. Honestly, I am in no rush to get into all the little aspects of nursing quite yet. I mean yeah it would be nice to get in and out of college so I can start working for a change and make big bucks, but i’m enjoying life. My first year of college was rough, a lot of changes in the family and a lot of feelings lost and regained. Everything is okay now, but when I talk to my closest I explain that due to what happened I felt like my 3rd semester felt like my first semester because I started to get used to everything and it was flowing. You know how some people tell you that your first year is going to be hard, well I went through that.

NOW WHAT TO DO?

When I talked to the advisor over the phone she told me we had to fix my degree plan so I can get to my goal of getting into clinical. She said it wasn’t impossible, but it’s going to be a lot of work, which I got myself into. I need to focus on school and just go on lock down. I’m determine to pass and no longer be a failure at school. My scholarship is on the brink of letting me off and the money i’m wasting is ridiculous. Yeah I know you might say, “oh here he goes again with the promises!” but really, I need to start getting down to business.

ON ANOTHER NOTE…

Okay so I think i’m totally a typical college student cuz I have been drinking a lot, but when I drink, I tend to have heart to heart talks with the people I drink with. Like the other day, it was nice to be recognized for helping a lot with things even when i’m not told. It’s good to know that people say I can be the person they can run to to get the job done or to plan things for them. I love my friends for always having my back and never telling me otherwise or making me do stupid stuff.

WHAT I MISS…

I miss having someone to hold. YEAH IT’S NOT A SEXUAL THING SICKOS, but someone to cuddle to and to talk about how my day is. Yeah people say I can just call a friend and let them know, talk story and shit, but it’s not the same thing. I wish I could just have someone, don’t get me wrong, i’m not desperate. Just kinda wish waiting process would hurry up. BLAH! lol

So like my other post I was supposed to go hiking today but I convinced my bestie that it was too groggy looking and that it would suck if we went today. So we decided to go to Alaz and i could sleep in for a little bit more. FINALLY got to return those shoes I didn’t like when I bought it lol, and he got to get his ipod checked. It was fun going out with him, but reality is he leaves on Saturday, sucks I know. At least he won’t be doing DCI this summer so he can finally come to my birthday lol. But yeah idk since he’s been back all we do when we’re out together is fight but idk i kinda miss when we just goofed around and nothing really mattered, I know my mentality should be the same but I think as we get older we tend to evolve the relationships we have with friends. Not in a sexual or love way cuz he’s like my bro, but in a more realistic and appreciating stage.

The other night I told my of my friends that this weekend will be the last time I drink till my next break. Idk I feel as though I let the worse get to me and I resulted in playing it out like “YEAH I’M SINGLE SO I CAN DO WHATEVER I FUCKING WANT!” but reality sets in. Drinking makes me hella gassy and fucking fat and I need to stop blah. lol yeah i’ll go to parties but i think i’ll be the one video taping all the weird hilarious events rather then being the one in the video doing something stupid. lol

On another note, I really need to buckle down in school, It’s been hard for me to deal with a lot of things during my first year or college. Stuff happened and instead of my first semester actually being my first semester, my 3rd semester in college felt like my first. Yeah i got baggage and it’s not the kind I would wish upon anyone. I’m not going to like my first year in college took a tole on me, I couldn’t eat, sleep, shoot hell I couldn’t function. But they are right you know when they say that you can do and be anything if you put your mind into it. I’d like to thank all my friends and family who helped me along the way though, without them I don’t think I could ever be here living.

To you, and only you. I’d wish we still talk on a daily basis, I like to hear about your day and all the cool things you learn. Sadly you have someone else to be telling all of that stuff too, although we don’t talk anymore i’d like to tell you that you will always be the love of my life. Nothing will ever change it, every promise I made to you I will keep till my grave. If you were hurt i’d be by your hospital bed day and night, thats how much you mean to me and if i never got to tell you or show you, then let this be my proof. I love you and will always!

Okay so pretty bad that I haven’t been updating and I apologize. Haven’t been doing much but trying to get ready for school and partying it up before my other bestie leaves for college. It was nice because today I got to hang out with him and then met up with someone else for dinner. Now i’m waiting for friends to come over and we can have a movie night.

So the 6th was pretty eventful. lol! I woke up early to go with mom to the taxation office and had lunch. Since she never ate at Genki before I decided to go and bring her there. It was funny because she was so interested in trying everything. I was planning on giving her Nato but that would be epic fail on my part. She did order the big fish eggs and ate them like it was normal. >___<; On the plus side a friend was working and gave us our bill for like 5 bucks so woot woot for awesome friends =]

Later that night me and a couple friends went clubbing. It was pretty chill, when we got to the parking garage we all had to pee so went across the way to find a bathroom. After asking the security guard we all went into our designated facilities. Dustin, Nate, and Jon was in a urinal and I got the toilet, EFF THOUGh cuz there was a fricken glory hole. WTF?

When we got into the club all was chill until we decided to dance our last song. I guess some drunk bitches didn’t like their Jeager bomb and decided to throw it at the dancing crowd, only it landed on my shirt and a friends back. When we left and was on the road almost got into a damn collision but you can read that on my other blog if you want to. (www.mikep808.tumblr.com) All in all was a good night and I was pooped. =P

So today was another regular day. Woke up just in time to make it to my eye doctors for my check up and to get my new prescription for new contacts. It was weird because when I drove home I could barely see anything because they dilated my eyes and everything was blurry. Idk I never really went to my eye doctors by myself so driving home was a challenge. Besides that I finally got my lazy ass to go play some tennis and work up a cardio sweat. After we all went to dinner and I ate a salad with the gang, now we’re up in my room chilling and having some fun woot woot. DRINK DRINK DRINk lol

What an eventful day =] So after going to the store meeting, went home and napped for 2 hours. It was a good idea because of the late night I would have. After waking up, went to a friends house and celebrated another friends ten-yard so it was all good. Took couple buttery nipple shots and a rum shot, so I was feeling kinda good. For such an eventful day, I didn’t eat much.

After partying…

Went back to Kapolei and picked up a friend while we waited for our other friend to finish work. Since we tried to kill time I went to put gas in and thought ehh lets go in the car wash. HAHAHA man was it a weird experience. lol. When I went to pay for the gas this chick was trying to buy their whole stock of gatorade, i thought women was smoking crack cuz the deal was like 2 for 99 cents, so she was buying it 2 at a time…  When we went into the car wash I had my camera so i documented our car wash experience… kinda funny =P

THEN…

After picking up my friend we all went to Buffalo Wild Wings at like 12:oo am in the morning. Yeah I know, I was surprised it was open too… Man when we got there a friend got vodka cran and the waiter didn’t even card her, shoot i should of gotten my midori sour.

All pau, den what?

We left Buffalo Wild Wings and went was on our way to tantalus cuz none of the people I was with went there, but since girls have such sensitive bladders we went searching for an open bathroom for like 15 minutes. After the whole diereses escapade we went to Tantalus and saw an awesome view =]. It was kind a funny and scary cuz stupid bitches kept screaming when shit wasn’t there. Funny, because we had my high beam on and when we saw a parked car with the windows cracked we yelled (OOOOFFF ALREADY!) lol